


Faux-Pas

by Nightchild78, ThePeachyMonkey



Category: NCIS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Explicit Sexual Content, Hate Crimes, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Slash, Romance, Slash, Swearing, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-08-27 19:07:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8413192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightchild78/pseuds/Nightchild78, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePeachyMonkey/pseuds/ThePeachyMonkey
Summary: McGee discovers Tony’s Mother of All Secrets and decides to make the most of it, with disastrous consequences (slash/McNozzo).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> This fic has ten chapters and an epilogue. It’s complete and I’ll try my best to post one chapter a week. 
> 
> It has been bugging me for months and refused to leave me alone until I put it down to words. Thanks to the wonderful ThePeachyMonkey who agreed to co-author this fic with me, I finally managed to “bring it to life” and now I hope my brain will be more available to finish the next chapter of Providence. 
> 
> Also a huge thank you to Rose Malmaison for creating the Art for this fic. 
> 
> Spoilers: Episode 2x23 Twilight, episode 3x10 Probie.

 

**Chapter 1**

 

Timothy McGee felt a little out of place as he sat in one of the lounge chairs at the crowded night club. The flashing lights were giving him a slight headache, and he could barely hear himself think over the loud music. This was really not his natural environment.

His friend Dan, who was probably the closest thing he had to a best friend, had unilaterally declared that they needed a night out to blow off some steam and Tim hadn’t had the heart to argue. Not like he had much time for friends. After all, as they said “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”.

Tim had first met Dan at the computer store. Dan overheard Tim talking to one of the employees, and was able to deduce that he was very knowledgeable and capable when it came to computers. So they struck up a conversation, and Dan revealed that he was a musician, who made most of his music electronically. He'd been having some problems with his system and wondered if Tim might be able to help him out. Tim confessed that he wasn't musically inclined in the least, but he knew his way around computers and would see what he could do.

From there, their friendship developed into a comfortable brotherhood, the two men spending much of the free time they had together. Which, for Tim, wasn't very much.

Going to the “Stardust” was more Dan's idea, the music they played in line with his own stylings. Dan had also heard they made a mean mojito and Tim couldn't argue with that. His drink was refreshing and delicious, giving just the right amount of a mellow buzz.

Despite the presence of his friend, and the admittedly satisfying drink, Tim couldn't help but feel out of place. Everything was too bright, too colorful, too… exuberant. As Dan warned him before they entered, the place was an alternative club. A politically correct way to say that this was also a popular gay hangout. And last time he checked, neither he nor Dan were gay.

Tim had no problem being surrounded by gay men. He was comfortable enough in his own masculinity not to feel threatened. Besides, because he'd come with Dan, people probably assumed they were a couple which was certainly enough to prevent any unwanted solicitation. But still, he couldn't help feeling a bit out of his element.

Standing at the gallery overlooking the crowded dance floor, Tim warily observed the mass of gyrating bodies below. Even off the job, he couldn't help but to observe. He watched with a fascination as the flood of people undulated suggestively, in sync with the loud beating of the music.

His eyes landed on one familiar figure and he almost dropped his mojito. Tim blinked in disbelief. This was the last place where he would have expected to see Tony DiNozzo, but there was no doubt about it, as Tim watched the uncanny scene unfold before him.

Wearing tight jeans and a form fitting red t-shirt that left little to the imagination, Tony was sandwiched between two men who appeared to be much younger than him. The man in front was cupping Tony's cheek with one hand and claiming his lips roughly in a kiss, while the other hand slid down Tony's pants, taking full hold of his crotch. The man behind Tony was grinding his crotch into Tony's backside and sliding his hands up Tony's shirt over his chest.

The weirdest thing was that Tony didn't seem to object at all. In fact, he looked to enjoy the attention, as he and the two other men moved their bodies in sync, slithering against each other as one.

Tim felt a child-like glee wash over him. Tony DiNozzo: the so-called “womanizer extraordinaire”, was secretly into men? And, from the looks of it, really into men! As Abby would have said, this was a hell of Mother of All Secrets. In fact, it was the Grandmother of All Secrets!

After years of Tony's teasing and taunting, making cracks about Tim's own sexuality, Tim finally had something on him! Taking his phone out of his pocket, McGee discreetly snapped a photo at just the right time. Tony's head was tossed back, eyes closed and mouth hanging open in ecstasy. Clearly enjoying the attention of the two younger men!

Tim felt as exhilarated as a kid on Christmas morning. Oh yes! Things were about to change, radically!

Just as Tim was putting his phone away, Dan walked up to him.

“What's up, Tim?”

“Uh...Nothing,” Tim said distractedly. “Just thought I saw someone I knew.”

“Did you?” Dan asked, whist casting an eye at the moving crowd below.

Tim shook his head and looked away. “Nope. Just a trick of the lights.”

 

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

 

On Monday morning, Tim entered the bullpen feeling chipper and, armed with his new intel on Tony sex life, more than a little smug.

Striding to his desk with a coffee in his hand and a spring in his step, Tim looked over at Tony. The older man was hunched over his desk and groaning. He still wore his sunglasses, and his head seemed to only be staying up with the aid of his hands.

Ziva shared an amused glance with Tim.

“Tony, don’t  you think you’re getting a little old to go out clubbing with girls who are far too young for you?" she asked rhetorically.

“Oh, don't underestimate him, Ziva,” Tim said, smirking in Tony's direction. “Those two brunettes I saw him with were very hot!”

Tony’s head jerked up from the steadying grip of his hands and he suddenly went very pale, but Tim was too excited about the leverage he had to notice.

“How did you know I was with two brunettes last weekend?” Tony asked nervously.

“I saw you,” Tim said with fake innocence. “At the club. I didn't want to bother you, though. Looked like you were getting pretty cozy with those hot young things!”

Much to Tim's delight, Tony looked like he might faint from embarrassment. Squirming in his seat, he cast a nervous glance around, before taking a deep breath to steel himself.

He made his way over to Tim's desk and leaned into the younger agent personal space.

“What is it you want, exactly?” Tony asked under his breath.

Tim met Tony's eyes with a satisfied smirk. “World peace, an all-expenses paid trip to Comic Con, and a date with Emily Deschanel. But I'll settle for less chores at work, no more pranks, and no more McNicknames.”

“Good luck with the first one,” Tony said through gritted teeth, trying to maintain some control of the situation. “Gibbs is the one who assigns the chores. And as you like to remind me, I’m not Gibbs.”

“Too bad,” sighed Tim with a shrug. “By the way,” he added nonchalantly, “I've got some photographic souvenirs of your wild night. Wanna see?” He pulled out his phone and discreetly showed Tony the picture he took. 

At that, all of the blood seemed to drain from Tony's face, and he looked like he might throw up.

Just then, Gibbs entered the bullpen in typical fashion.

“Grab your gear! We got a dead marine!” he ordered, as he tossed Tim the keys. “McGee! Gas up the truck!”

Tim and Tony exchanged a look, before Tony eagerly fumbled to take the keys from Tim.

“I got this,” Tony hurriedly offered, grabbing his backpack. 

Gibbs stopped in his track and eyed his agents suspiciously. Something was off. Tony was never so accommodating to Tim. Sure, he wouldn’t hesitate a second to throw himself between a bullet and any of his teammates. But there was no way he would ever be willing to do mundane tasks without whining and groaning. Not in his right mind.

As Tony rushed to the elevator, Gibbs followed, pulling him aside.

“Everything alright, DiNozzo?”

Tony nodded, seeming anxious. “Nothing I can't handle, boss,” he assured, before practically scurrying into the elevator.

Under Gibbs watchful gaze, Tim had to contain his smug satisfaction. It seemed his little ploy was working even better than he expected it to.

_To be continued_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to the talented ThePeachyMonkey for her unwavering support and help… with this fic as well as with life in general.   
> Also, thank you to Rose Malmaison for creating the art for this fic.   
> And, of course, to those who have been kind enough to comment, bookmark or subscribe.

 

Even to someone who wasn't a regular visitor to the NCIS headquarters, it was obvious that the atmosphere was different in the bullpen. Things had felt off for the past two weeks. Tony was quiet, polite and surprisingly subdued. He seemed to be treating Tim as if _he_ were the senior agent, deserving of respect, rather than the other way around. There were none of the usual nicknames, and he let Tim take credits for leads he had found. 

Gibbs and Ziva exchanged worried looks as Tony worked diligently on the stack of paperwork on his desk. 

The job of a SFA involved a lot of paperwork, more than people would think, but the pile seemed much taller, Gibbs thought. Could Tony be doing someone else's work as well? Though he liked to pretend otherwise, the young man was always willing to give a hand to his colleagues from other teams when needed, but it usually didn’t reach such epic proportions. 

Standing in front of Tony's desk, Gibbs silently waited to be acknowledged. It only took a moment for Tony to finish up the paper in front of him.

 “What can I do for you, boss?” Tony asked, green eyes looking up with a no nonsense expression. 

“You okay, DiNozzo?” Gibbs asked, looking over his SFA with concern. Dark circles under his eyes would have most convinced he was doing an impression of a raccoon and though it wasn’t really obvious at first sight, Gibbs could see that Tony had lost weight, his designer clothes now slightly hanging from his body.

 As Tony set down his pen, Gibbs noticed the tremor in his hands, likely a result of exhaustion and the resulting caffeine overdose. Tony had been working pretty much around the clock recently, and Gibbs wondered if he slept at all. Though Gibbs was known for working his agents hard, even he considered the amount Tony had taken on to be too much. It wasn’t healthy and in their business, it could be potentially lethal.

Tony blinked. “I'm fine, boss. Why do you ask?”

“You’re just... quieter than usual,” Gibbs observed. 

“I'd think you'd be happy about that,” Tony said with a half grin. “You always complain about my rambling.”

 Gibbs shrugged noncommittally.

 “It's not like you. That’s all.”

 “Well, I'm not getting younger, boss. So I guess it's high time I start behaving more professionally,” Tony said, grabbing another sheet of paper from the file.

 Gibbs was about to retort that he had never seen Tony being anything other than professional, but changed his mind. The younger man was obviously on edge, and he wasn't sure how this kind of unexpected praise would be taken.

 “Okay, just...take care of yourself, DiNozzo,” he said instead, placing a cup of coffee on Tony's desk, before went back over to his own.

 As he settled behind his desk, Gibbs’ expression darkened as he thought back to a conversation he'd had with Abby just hours ago. She, too, had noticed the change in Tony's behavior, and was concerned.

“Tony's not going to leave us, is he?” she had asked out of the blue.

“I sure hope not,” Gibbs replied, giving her a hug.

And it was true. As much as Gibbs pretended Tony was a pain in the ass, he actually looked forward to his humor and lively banter. Seeing him like this, barely a shell of his former self, meant that something was wrong and it made his guts churn.

Gibbs then turned his attention to Tim. The young agent had seemed especially light hearted lately, and Gibbs couldn't help but notice his upbeat new attitude came at about the same time Tony started acting troubled.

“Special Agent Gibbs,” Director Vance called as he entered the bullpen, interrupting his musings. “Cyber Crimes needs an extra set of hands. Since your team is working cold cases at the moment, I was hoping they could borrow Agent McGee.”

Looking to Tim, Gibbs pretended to think of it for a second then nodded his approval. “As long they don't keep him too long. You never know when we might get a case.” 

 Maybe not having McGee around for a while would give Tony a chance to put his feet up. Gibbs was certain there was something going on between the two of them.

 “Understood,” Vance nodded gratefully, watching as Tim gathered his things.

Once Tim had departed, Gibbs noticed Tony visibly relax. If he had had any doubt before that, he was now convinced; Tim had something to do with the change in his SFA.

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

 

Down in Cyber Crimes, Tim was welcomed back like an old friend, and he was a little surprised they had missed him so much. He liked them well enough, but the entire time he was down there, all he cared about was getting his old team back together.

 Tim sat down next to Miles, the Chief Tech, a tall man in his mid 30s, with sandy hair and bright blue eyes who Tim had become friendly with during his time in Cyber Crimes.

 “McGee!” Miles swirled his chair and greeted him, with a wide grin. “Good to have to back!”

 Tim gave a small smile as he switched on his computer. “Thanks, but don’t throw a welcome party, it's only temporary.”

 “How are things up at the MCRT?” Miles inquired casually, his eyes returning to the screen before him. “Guess Mr. Arrogant is still a pain in the ass.”

 “Who? Oh, right. Tony.” Tim had forgotten Miles’ utter dislike for Tony.

 During Tony’s time as team leader, Miles had applied for the “Probie” position within the MCRT, but he had been finally passed up in favor of Agent Michelle Lee. Ever since, he'd held a grudge against Tony.

 “He's not that bad,” dampened Tim. “In fact, he's been gentle as a lamb recently.”

 “Really?” Miles asked with a crooked smile, visibly enjoying a mental image of a declawed Tony.

 “All you need is the right leverage,” Tim answered, his eyes coming and going between their two screens, whilst he absentmindedly stroked the phone in his pocket.

 Miles picked up on the gesture and a wicked glimmer shone in his eyes at the thought of getting some dirt on the agent he so despised.

 “Hey, Tim. What say I buy you a drink once we finish up here?” he asked with feigned detachment. “For old time's sake.”

 “Sure,” Tim said agreeably, fully turning to him for the first time since the beginning of their exchange. “That would be nice.”

 

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

 

“McGee!” Miles called out through the noisy bar, patting the seat next to him. “Over here!” 

Smiling cordially, Tim made his way through the mass of bodies to his colleague.

 “A beer for my friend!” Miles called to the bartender as Tim took a seat. “It was good to have you back,” he then said to Tim. “If only for a day.”

 “Yeah? Thanks. I guess it was good to be back.” Tim didn't want to say that he found the team down in Cyber Crimes dull in comparison, and Miles to be an obnoxious blowhard. The people in Cyber Crimes were nice enough, and he didn't have to dumb down his language for them. And, blowhard or not, Tim wasn't about to turn down free drinks.

“So, tell me more about this leverage you've got on that smug bastard DiNozzo,” Miles urged, watching Tim take his first sip of beer.

Tim just gave a knowing grin before averting his eyes. He wasn't about to tell anyone Tony's secret. He wasn’t stupid enough for that. Keeping it a secret was what made it such good leverage! Anyway, it was no one else's business and if he should tell it to someone, it would certainly not be to a guy like Miles Townsend.

“Let's just say he was a naughty boy, and now he needs to behave,” he said

“Aw, you're no fun, McGee!” Miles teased.

Tim just smirked and chatted for a while about the latest computer shows until, a couple of beers later, Tim stood up with a groan. “Be right back. Gotta take a leak.”

“I'll be here.” Miles watched until Tim was out of view, then discreetly leant forwards to retrieve his phone from his coat pocket.

Scrolling through the files, it didn't take him long to find what he was looking for, and a feral smile soon twisted his features.

“Oh yeah! I got ya, you little piece of shit!” he hissed under his breath, slipping the phone back into Tim's pocket just moments before his return from the bathroom. 

“Leaving so soon?” Tim asked, watching Miles stand up and put on his jacket.

“Yeah, sorry, but I'm pretty wiped out,” Miles said, handing Tim a wad of cash for the drinks. “Not as young as I used to be. But it was great seeing you! Let's do this another time soon, okay?”

“Sure,” Tim agreed, looking on in confusion at Miles’ hasty departure.

_To be continued_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to my friend ThePeachyMonkey who co-authors this fic and makes it readable.   
> Also, thank you to Rose Malmaison for creating the art for this fic. And, of course, to those who have been kind enough to review this fic or added it to their favorites list and story alerts. I’m aware that after this chapter a lot of people are going to hate me. Just remember that things have to get worse before they get better.

 

**** ~~~~

 

A few days later, the doldrums of cold cases were finally broken when the team received a call from dispatch to investigate the disappearance of a petty officer.

As had become the norm, Tony volunteered to gas up the truck.

Watching Tony rush down to the garage, dead on his feet and a bundle of nerves, Gibbs’ gut churned. As Senior Field Agent, it was his job to delegate responsibility to his subordinates. Something which had never been a problem for Tony. As a matter of fact, until recently, it had been quite the opposite. But now, not only was he picking up the slack for his team mates - especially Tim - , he was also letting Tim take credit for recent cases. Cases he himself had worked so hard to solve. It was completely out of character, and only served to further Gibbs’ worry and annoyance.

Gibbs turned his gaze towards Tim, narrowing his eyes. Apart from the complicated computer work, it seemed he was just coasting lately, and Gibbs found himself wondering what on earth had turned the dedicated and eager to please Junior Agent into such a smug little prick.

Enough was enough, he decided. As soon as he could find time to, he would confront Tony, and find out what exactly was going on.

 

 NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

 

Tony entered the garage and wearily rubbed his sore eyes, body fighting fatigue. He wished he’d opted for the large coffee and not just the medium size before coming into work. Weeks of fitful sleep were starting to take their toll on him, and it was more than obvious now that he couldn’t keep going this way any longer.

Burying his head in the sand was no use. He knew all too well that if he wanted to have a chance to salvage his career from the wreckage, as well as what remained of his already tainted reputation, his only one option would be to pack up and go. And the sooner the better, before rumors started to spread.

It wasn’t the first time he was confronted to this kind of situation, and it hadn’t ever been such a big deal. But this time was different. As far from perfect as it was, he loved his life in DC and the handmade dysfunctional family he had there. Leaving it all behind would break his heart, yet he couldn't see any another solution.

Of course, he had considered seeking advice from Gibbs. But he quickly dismissed the idea. He couldn’t stand the thought of looking weak and helpless in front of a man he thought of as his mentor. And even if he would never admit it to himself, he was slightly afraid of the older man’s reaction. His boss had never shown any signs of being homophobic, but what if Gibbs had finally become fed up with him? What if he decided to turn his back on him? This was a risk Tony wasn’t ready to take.

Tony’s musings turned back to McGee, and his heart sank at the thought of the young man’s snide words and undisguised threats. This was certainly the most painful part of all the mess he now found himself in.

Even tough Tony had always known that working amidst top notch investigators was exposing himself to a higher risk of being unmasked and blackmailed, he never would have expected Tim to be the one blackmailing him. To Tony, McGee was a friend. A partner he could trust with his life. Now, light of the recent events, and considering the glee with which his teammate had made him his personal slave lately, it was obvious that Tony didn’t know him as well as he thought he did. Another disappointment to add to an already too long list.

Pushing his dark musings to the back of his mind, Tony forced himself to concentrate on the present. He still had a job to do, and for now, that was all that mattered. 

As he approached the truck, Tony noticed a back rear tire was flat. Bending over with a heavy sigh to take a closer look, he felt a presence close behind him. Before he had a chance to turn around, an excruciating pain pierced his shoulder, and it took him a second to realize that his assailant had hit him with a baseball bat, knocking him to the ground.

Turning around, Tony caught a glimpse of a large man dressed in black, his face hidden by a ski mask. So cliché, he couldn't help thinking, in spite of the pain.

Adrenaline rushed through his veins as he reached for his gun. But the other man was too quick for him, and before he could do anything, the bat hit him for the second time; this time in the throat, knocking the wind out of him.

While trying weakly to fight off the blows, which continued to rain down upon him, Tony desperately struggled to catch his breath. But the swelling caused by the second blow was already cutting off his air supply, suffocating him. His vision darkened and he fell on his knees. His mouth open in a silent cry. His lungs screaming for air whilst he slumped onto the ground.

As Tony’s world went black, his attacker continued kicking him relentlessly, leaving Tony helplessly at his mercy on the cold concrete of the ground.

 

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

 

Back in the bullpen, Gibbs was gearing up when another call came in.

Grumbling under his breath, he picked up the phone.

“Yeah. Gibbs...” A deep frown creased his forehead as he listened to the voice at the other end of the line. “Well, how the hell did you guys get that wrong? Uh-huh...Well, next time be sure before you waste our time.”

Hanging up, he glared at Tim. “McGee, call DiNozzo. Tell him the missing petty officer is not missing anymore. False alarm.” 

Tim nodded. “Got it boss.”

“Gibbs, what is the matter?” Ziva asked, eyeing him with concern, as the former Marine thoughtfully stared at his SFA’s empty desk.

“My gut,” Gibbs answered without looking at her. “We rarely get false alarms. McGee! Have you reached Tony?”

“Er… No. He’s turned off his phone,” Tim sighed, feeling just as uneasy as Gibbs. Tony knew better than anybody not to break rule number 3. It didn’t seem like him to turn off his phone. Especially when they were on a case.

“Check the CCTV in front of the building,” Gibbs ordered with an exasperated sigh. “If DiNozzo and the truck aren’t there, look in the garage,”

“On it,” Tim complied, pulling up the footage from the front of the building on the big screen.

“Tony's not there,” he stated at the sight of the empty parking spot. “Must still be in the garage.”

Catching sight of Gibbs’ glare, Tim promptly stood up.

“I'm gonna go look for him now,” he declared, feeling Gibbs’ eyes follow him into the elevator.

 

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

 

Stepping out of the elevator into the garage, Tim looked around, frantically searching for his colleague.

“Tony? Everything okay?” he called out. “Come on, man. Gibbs is getting...”

His voice trailed off as he came upon Tony lying face down on the ground just in front of the team’s truck. 

Feeling a wave of panic rising, Tim rushed towards Tony and fell on his knees beside him. Fumbling with his cell phone, he managed to find his voice and call Gibbs.

“Boss, I found Tony. He’s in the garage. He’s hurt,” Tim said, his voice a choked whisper.

Hearing Gibbs hang up on him, he just stayed there, petrified; staring and waiting. Afraid to even touch Tony for fear of discovering that he wasn’t still alive.

 

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

 

Upstairs, Gibbs was rushing towards the elevator with Ziva on his tail, when he practically ran into Abby and Jimmy happily chatting as they stepped out of it.

“Abby! Palmer!” Gibbs unceremoniously interrupted them. “DiNozzo’s been hurt! With me! Now!”

“What?” Abby gasped, her eyes wide with shock. “But how?”

“Don't know, Abs” grumbled Gibbs with a hard glare to the buttons he was impatiently stabbing. “But, trust me, I'll find out.”

The doors finally closed on them and the elevator began its excruciatingly slow descent to the garage. No more words were exchanged, everyone dreading what they would find once there.

 

_To be continued…_

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to my friend ThePeachyMonkey who co-authors this fic with and manages it readable.  
> Also, thank you to Rose Malmaison for creating the art for this fic.  
> And, of course, to those who have been kind enough to review this fic or added it to their favorites list and story alerts. I hope you’ll like this new chapter.

 

**** ~~~~

 

As soon as the sliding doors opened, Gibbs and Ziva burst into the garage. Gun in hand, they quickly scanned the area before dashing towards the spot where the team's truck was usually parked, Abby and Jimmy only a couple of steps behind.

By the time they reached Tony's lifeless body, Ziva was already on the phone, calling for an ambulance. 

Tony was lying on his side, his face hidden from them. His clothes were soiled with dirt and oil, but no blood could be seen. Kneeling beside him, McGee looked on in shock, still clutching at his cell phone as he stared at his injured colleague with wide eyes.

“I… I can’t find his pulse,” he stammered, whilst lifting desperate eyes towards Gibbs.

Jimmy immediately stepped in and went to kneel down beside Tony, whilst Gibbs not too gently pushed McGee aside and went to join him. With Abby’s help and on Jimmy's direction, they carefully turned him onto his back, making sure to keep his spine perfectly aligned to prevent further trauma. Once it was done, they noted with horror that Tony’s face was already blue from lack of oxygen.

“He's not breathing,” Jimmy stated, trying to keep calm, though his voice was tinged with panic.

“Please tell me you can feel a pulse,” Gibbs pleaded, having abandoned all attempt to maintain any kind of pretense.

Jimmy put his fingers on Tony's jugular, concentrating. “I have one, but it's very weak.”

Tim was on the verge of panic, trying to breathe through the heaviness in his chest and failing miserably.

 “What are you waiting for?!” he snapped angrily in a high-pitched voice. “You’re a doctor! Give him CPR! He is dying!”

Jimmy shook his head with dismay.

“It would be of no use.” he informed them, trying his best to remain calm and to think straight.

He pointed at Tony’s neck. 

“Look. His throat is too swollen. The air wouldn't reach his lungs.”

 “An ambulance is on its way,” Ziva called to them over her shoulder. “They’re held up in traffic, but they should be here in five minutes.”

 “Tell them to move their asses! He doesn't have five minutes!” Gibbs growled in anger and frustration.

Abby grabbed Tim's shoulder for support, close to tears. “We can't leave him like that! Oh my God! There must be something we can do.”

Squaring his shoulders, Jimmy took a deep breath and briefly closed his eyes.

“Okay,” he huffed, having finally made up his mind. “I need a ball-point. Does anybody have one?”

Tim frantically fumbled through his pockets before finding a pen and handing it to Jimmy.

“Here! Why? What do you want to do?”

Jimmy, all business, ignored the Junior Agent and kept working, his eyes fixed on his injured friend on the floor. “I also need a knife. Preferably as sharp as possible.”

Gibbs immediately complied and shoved his knife into Jimmy's hand. “It is.”

Jimmy sheepishly lowered his eyes on the deathly switchblade in his palm.

“I - wouldn't doubt it,” he mumbled before getting back to work.

With his teeth, he pulled out the ink and spit it away, keeping only the empty clear plastic tube.

Taking another calming breath, he leaned over Tony, knife in hand.

“I'm sorry, Tony, but I don't have a choice,” he apologized, before slowly and carefully cutting Tony's neck just above his collarbone and under the swelling.

He then introduced the tube into his windpipe to perform an improvised tracheotomy, before carefully blew some air into the tube, filling Tony's lungs.

He continued to do so steadily for a moment, whilst the others silently watched him with awe, and by the time the paramedics arrived, along with Ducky, he was relieved to see that Tony’s face was starting to regain some color.

As the paramedics started to put up their equipment, Ducky crouched beside Jimmy and gently took him by the shoulders in order to help him to his feet and let the paramedics do their job.

They picked up where Jimmy left off, removing the ball-point pen tube and replacing it with a real breathing tube, whilst Ducky warmly congratulated his rather shaken assistant on his exceptional and heroic initiative.

The paramedics unceremoniously ripped Tony’s clothes and checked him over, before stating that beside the swell of his throat, Tony seemed to also have several cracked ribs and possible brain trauma.

Abby offered to go along with Tony in the ambulance, while the rest of the team stayed behind to investigate and preserve evidence. Gibbs squeezed her shoulder and promised they would meet her at the hospital shortly.

Whilst the medics carefully stabilized Tony on a gurney to quickly take him away in the ambulance, Ducky gently took Jimmy by the arm and guided to autopsy for a complete checkup. The young man looked even paler than usual, his hands shaking uncontrollably now that the adrenaline had started to withdraw, and the elderly ME didn’t want to take the risk to see him fall into shock.

The ambulance went in a blare of siren and Gibbs was about to order Tim and Ziva to “bag and tag” when Ziva suddenly drew their attention to the wall in front of them.

They had been so focused on Tony, and Jimmy’s desperate attempt to save his life, that none of them had notice the trickling graffiti in capital letters just above the spot where Tony had been lying:

“FAGGOT”

McGee instantly went livid with shock. He felt sick to his stomach, repeating to himself that it didn't mean anything. Surely, it had to be a coincidence, since he hadn't mentioned Tony's secret to anybody. There was no other explanation.

“I - I need to check the CCTC footage,” he stammered, fleeing the scene like a bat out of hell to go back to the bullpen, before anyone could react.

Without a word, Ziva watched him leave, then shot Gibbs a meaningful look.

“What?” he asked gruffly.

“Nothing,” Ziva shrugged. “Just an odd feeling.”

“A gut feeling?” Gibbs speculated. “You think McGee knows something about this?”

Ziva shook her head, pointing to the wall. “I wouldn’t say that, but… It’s just that he didn't seem really surprised to see it. Uncomfortable and shaken, for sure. I’d dare to say shocked. But not surprised.”

“You were?” Gibbs asked her,

She tilted her head and took a moment to think before answering.

“I have to admit that, given Tony’s reputation and the constant flirtation... Well, yes. It was rather... unexpected.”

Gibbs mere nodded, his eyes boring into the wall before, as if they had the power to erase the offending word.

“But you were not, were you?” Ziva added with a sideways glance.

“No,” Gibbs said in a matter of fact tone, fetching his phone and dialing Vance’s number. “I wasn't.”

_To be continued_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to my friend ThePeachyMonkey who co-authors this fic with me and without whom nothing could have been possible. And thank you to Rose Malmaison for creating the art for this fic.
> 
> As always, thank you to those who have been kind enough to comment, bookmark or subscribe. I hope you’ll like this new chapter. 
> 
> Sorry for the delay, but we both had a rough week which is why we haven’t been able to keep up with the original schedule. Thanks for your understanding.

**** ~~~~

 

Back in the bullpen, Tim plopped himself down onto his chair and began typing with trembling fingers. A dozen windows popped on his screen showing CCTV footage of the garage taken from different angles. He skimmed through them, selected the one which seemed to offer the best view of the area where the attack had taken place and, after a moment of hesitation, pressed the key to start the video. He fast forwarded until he reached the moment where Tony approached the truck only to see him being almost immediately hit from behind. From this angle, all he could properly see of the attacker was a vague figure dressed in black. But he had no trouble seeing the crowbar rise and fall on his friend. As the scene unfolded in all its horrific brutality, Tim felt increasingly nauseated and his stomach churned painfully. Finally, it became too much for him, and he jumped to his feet, dashing to the men's room where he promptly and violently threw up

Exiting the stall after a moment, he yelped, startled, as he was forcibly grabbed by the lapels of his jacket and pinned against the wall.

“What have you done?!” Gibbs growled.

“I... I don't know what you mean,” Tim stammered “I've done n-nothing, I swear.”

“You knew about Tony, didn't you?” Gibbs phrased it as a question, but it was clearly more of a statement.

“I... I...”

“You knew.” Gibbs stabbed an accusatory finger at Tim with each syllable. “And you used it against him.”

Tim opened his mouth to deny once again, but Gibbs' murderous expression deterred him from trying.

“I saw Tony at a nightclub a couple of weeks ago, yeah. But I didn't tell anyone,” he tried to explain.

“You used the fact that Tony is gay to blackmail him. That's why he was acting so weird lately.” Gibbs narrowed his eyes. “DiNozzo is known to be a ladies man. Nobody would have taken you at your words. What did you get against him?”

“Noth –”

 Gibbs tightened his grip around Tim's neck, almost chocking him.

“I... I took a couple of pictures, but that's all! I swear...I didn't tell anyone!” 

Gibbs stayed silent, as if weighing Tim's words.

“Listen carefully, McGee,” he finally said, on a dangerously low voice. “Before you, in eight years, only two people knew that Tony was gay. Abby and me. And nothing has ever transpired until today. So tell me, as an investigator, what should I deduce?”

“I didn't intend to hurt Tony. All... All I wanted was to get him off my back. I never meant for this to happen.”

Though it sounded like Tim was trying to defend himself, Gibbs knew this wasn't the case. He was simply in disbelief that he could have inadvertently caused such a terrible thing to happen. Dinozzo was right, McGee could really act like a spoiled kid sometimes.

“Save your apologies for Tony. I don't give a damn. One way or another, you managed to spill the beans to someone, and I want to know who!” Gibbs demanded.

“I...”

“Who. Did. You. Tell?”

It took a few seconds before Tim finally let out a breath and answered.

“The only person I can think of is... Miles. Miles Townsend."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow and released his hold minutely, encouraging Tim to carry on.

“From Cyber Crimes,” Tim specified, taking a deep breath.

Gibbs let go of him completely with a disparaging glare and took a step backward.

“But, I didn't tell him about Tony,” Tim repeated, trying to regain both his breath and some dignity. “Miles isn't exactly Tony's number one fan. I never would have told him such a thing. I'm not that stupid.”

“It's something to think about.” Gibbs raised a sarcastic eyebrow. 

Tim nodded, eyes to the floor.

“You said Townsend didn't like Tony. Why?”Gibbs asked.

“It was...while you were in Mexico. Miles applied for the MCRT, but Tony rejected his application. Miles has held a grudge against him ever since,” Tim explained.

Gibbs crossed his arms. “If you didn't tell him, why do you think he knows?”

“I... I may have hinted that I had some leverage to keep Tony off my back the last time I went to Cyber Crimes.” He hurried to add. “But other than that, I swear I didn't say a word.”

Gibbs came back closer, his face barely an inch from Tim's, eyes as cold as ice.

“Right now, I don't know what is keeping me from shredding you into pieces. I want everything you can dig up about this Miles Townsend on my desk within one hour,” he ordered. 

McGee squirmed and swallowed painfully.

“You don't intend to kill him, do you?” 

Gibbs favored Tim with a feral smile.

“Your little indiscretion may have cost me the best agent I have ever worked with, and one of my best friends. If I were you, Townsend would be the least of my concerns.” 

With that, Gibbs left the room and a stunned and shaking McGee behind him.

 

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS 

 

Arms crossed over his chest, Gibbs watched Miles through the observation window, staring into the interrogation room. He had spent hours interrogating him, but the man refused to confess, and they didn't have any solid evidence against him.

Initially, Vance wasn't thrilled to see the MCRT investigate one of their own. The Director seemed to fear - with good reason - that Gibbs would make it another personal vendetta. However the former Marine assured him that they would follow procedure to the letter, and considering the information Gibbs had already obtained from Tim, he finally agreed to let them move forward with the investigation.

Gibbs' gut told him Townsend was guilty. Everything was pointing in his direction and there wasn’t the slightest doubt in Gibbs mind. The problem was that he didn't have enough physical evidence to prove it...yet. In spite of all their best efforts, the examination of the crime scene revealed nothing. All they had was the video of the attack, but they hadn't been able to pull anything from it so far. 

Abby was calling every hour to keep them posted. Tony was still in intensive care, but as far as the team knew, he was in no immediate danger, thanks to Jimmy's heroic intervention.

Gibbs narrowed his eyes, furious and determined to makes Miles pay for what he had done to Tony. He would not get away with it! Not if Gibbs had anything to say about it!

Suddenly, the door burst open and Abby appeared in the doorway.

“Abby? Why aren't you at the hospital?” Gibbs asked a sudden anguish twisting his guts.

Before he could react, he felt himself engulfed in one of Abby's typical bear hugs, her chin resting on his shoulder.

“Don't worry. Tony is stable and Ducky and Jimmy are there. They'll keep us posted.”

Abby released him, but kept his hands in hers.

“I couldn't stay there, just sitting around in a waiting room. It was driving me crazy. I'd be more useful here, where I can perform my analysis and help you send this bastard to jail for the rest of his life.” She stared through the window at Miles with a murderous glare. “Is that him?”

Gibbs nodded. “Miles Townsend is our main suspect. Problem is, we have no evidence to convict him.”

“Don't worry, Gibbs.” Abby promised with determination, planting her hands firmly on her hips. “I'll find something. You can count on me!”

_To be continued_

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to my friend ThePeachyMonkey who co-authors this fic with me and without whom nothing could have been possible. And thank you to Rose Malmaison for creating the art for this fic.
> 
> Thank you to our beloved readers for commenting this fic, subscribing or bookmarking it. 
> 
> Life is still very hectic these days, so the updates are not as regular as I wish them to be. Rest assured that we’re doing our best.

 

The tension was palpable in the bullpen, and most people carefully avoided coming anywhere near the MCRT. They were fully aware that anything could stir up the hornet's nest and didn't want to be the receiving end of Gibbs' wrath. Gibbs and Ziva were giving Tim the cold shoulder, talking to him only out of necessary, and the young agent found himself torn between guilt, sadness and growing discomfort.

Since Tony's attack, the team had been working round the clock, trying to find something - anything - they could use to convict Miles. But it was to no avail. Despite the team's best efforts, they found no trace of evidence at the crime scene; no blood other than Tony's, no hair, no fingerprints. The footage told them that the attacker was about the same height and build as Townsend, but it was impossible to make out his face through the ski mask.

The team was able to determine that the call about a missing Petty Officer was fake; set in order to lay a trap for Tony. But even with Tim's skills, they had been ineffective in tracing the origin of the call. This only served to reinforce their conviction that Townsend was their guy. In spite of the serious cluster of presumptions, the JAG attorney categorically refused to prosecute with so few elements in the file, and announced that Miles would be released before the end of the day if they couldn't find anything more tangible.

They were just about to re check the information they had gathered, in the hope they might have missed something, when Abby stormed into the bullpen. Bouncing with excitement, she forcibly placed a box on Gibbs' desk.

“I got him, Gibbs,” she announced with a feral smile. “I swear, I'm gonna crucify him.”

Gibbs merely smiled approvingly, some of the tension accumulated leaving his shoulders, and handed her the remote to the plasma screen.

“Impress me, Abs.”

Abby took the remote, showing the team an excerpt of the footage of Tony's attack. Tim instantly turned green as he was made to watch it again. He was about to ask if this was really necessary, but Abby effectively silenced him with an icy look before turning her attention back to the screen where the terrible scene was once again unfolding.

After a few seconds, Abby paused the video as the attacker was about to viciously kick Tony in the belly, and pointed more precisely at the seam on the pair of black jeans he was wearing.

“Every brand has its own unique design, with different stitching patterns,” she explained. “And thanks to this video, I can tell you with certainty that the jeans we took from Miles when he was arrested are the same brand as the ones worn by the attacker!” She made a pause and zoomed in closed-up. “Also, due to the wash and wear of these jeans, the difference between each morphology also modifies the design of the seam and the color of the fabric, making it as unique as fingerprints. The comparison between the two designs proves that they are the same.”

She opened another window showing a footage of Townsend’s arrival at the main gate of the Yard in the morning.

“The attacker's jeans and the ones worn by Miles earlier in the day are not only the same brand, but also the same pair. Absolutely identical. So unless he manages to prove that someone stole his trousers sometimes between the moment he arrived at NCIS and the moment he was arrested, he's done! And before you ask, this kind of evidence has already been used to solve a series of cases, and it's now commonly admitted in court.”

Gathering Abby's box of evidence, Gibbs gave her a peck on the cheek.

“Good job, Abby. I knew I could rely on you.”

“Anything for Tony, Boss man,” she grinned. “Now, go and give him a hard time.”

With a knowing nod, Gibbs turned on his heels and strode out to the interrogation room, where Miles was still being held.

Once Gibbs was out of sight, Tim carefully approached Abby and put a hand on her shoulder, but she immediately shrugged it off and glared at him in a way that made him shrink back.

“Abby, I swear I didn't say a word to Miles!” he tried to explain. “And if I'd known what he was capable of, I wouldn't have even hinted –”

Abby held up her hand, cutting him off. “I don't wanna hear any of your pitiful excuses, McGee! You failed Tony, and there is no excuse for that. I'm going back to the hospital to check in on him.”

“Don't you wanna wait for Gibbs to come back with Mile's confession?” Tim asked as she headed to the elevator.

“No need,” Abby said coldly over her shoulder as she waited for the elevator. “Unlike some people, I trust him to do whatever it takes to put that S.O.B. who hurt Tony away!”

With that, she left Tim alone with Ziva, who had returned to her desk and resumed her work as if he weren't even there.

 

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

 

Entering the interrogation room, Gibbs dropped the box on the metal table with a loud thud.

“These your pants?” he asked without preamble.

“Of course they are.” Miles shrugged with a smug grin that Gibbs wanted to smack right off his face. “You should know that, Agent Gibbs. Since you’re the one who took them from me.”

Gibbs took a deep breath to calm down. It would be of no use to lose his temper now that they finally had enough material to bring Townsend to jail.

“We matched your pants to the ones Tony's attacker wore,” Gibbs explained, his calm tone barely concealing his anger as images of Miles attacking Tony replayed in his head. “The stitching, the wear and tear, even the way it shapes itself to accommodate your worthless ass... It's just as good as a signed confession.”

“It doesn’t prove anything…” Miles weakly tried to argue.

“It does,” Gibbs countered. “And you know it.”

He slumped back in the chair and folding his arms, waiting for Miles reaction now that he came to the realization that he was done for.

“Fine,” Miles finally snarled after a moment, mimicking Gibbs’ posture by leaning back in his chair. “I admit I gave DiNozzo a little lesson. Next time that pompous asshole will think twice before treating people like shit. My career was ruined when he rejected my application! Do you think I've enjoyed wasting away in the sub basement all these years? I could have been an amazing field agent! But that arrogant faggot obviously thought I was beneath him! How dare he look down on me! He is just… just a slut who likes to take it up the ass. He had no right treating me like that.”

Miles paused and a wicked smile spread on his lips.

“But now, everybody will know he really is.”

“Hmm...Is that really what you think?” Gibbs asked, licking his finger and opening Miles' personal file. “That Tony ruined your life? I'm looking at Tony's notes on you from that time, and you wanna know what he said? ‘Despite the fact that the applicant is more than qualified for the position, I feel his skills would be underutilized in the MCRT. I think it is best that he continue his work in Cyber Crimes, where his considerable talents will be more useful to the agency.’ ” 

Closing the file, Gibbs looked up at Miles, who had turned a ghostly white.

“DiNozzo rejected your application because he thought your talents could be put to better use in Cyber Crimes. He didn't look down on you. In fact, I'd even go so far as to say he respected your skills. And you thank him by beating him and leaving him to die? You thought your life was ruined? Oh, just you wait!” Gibbs sneered, his tone quiet, yet unsettlingly menacing. “Your precious career will be the least of your worries!”

“B-but...I...he..." Miles stammered, as Gibbs stood up and walked to the door.

Turning around in the doorway, Gibbs gave Miles a menacing smirk. “Don't you worry, Mr. Townsend. I have some friends in pretty high places who will make sure you enjoy every moment of your incarceration.”

_To be continued_


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to my friend ThePeachyMonkey who co-authors this fic with me and without whom nothing could have been possible. And thank you to Rose Malmaison for creating the art for this fic.
> 
> Thank you to our beloved readers for following this fic and commenting.

 

Two weeks after the attack, Tony remained in the hospital. Though he was now out of danger and the doctors had confirmed there would be no lasting damage, Tony’s condition was still serious. He would be hospitalized another week, to regain his strength and health as best he could. 

In the meantime, work had become hell for Tim. Not only was he feeling sick with guilt, but his coworkers were also giving him a hard time; determined to make him pay for his betrayal. Gibbs and Ziva wouldn't speak to him unless it was work related. Ducky and Jimmy were polite to Tim, but kept him at a distance. As for Abby, if looks could kill, Tim would have died many times over. He knew that he had to make things right with Tony if he wanted things to get better. He needed this absolution, or nobody would forgive him for what he'd done. 

The problem was that he was far too ashamed of, and too upset by the thought of how he might find Tony, to go and see him.

Worse yet, he was certain Tony would reject any offer of friendship or apology he extended. And rightfully so.

Tim couldn’t help but to re-examine his interactions with Tony over the years, and it wasn't pretty.

One memory in particular that stood out was the time Tony supported him after he’d shot the undercover cop; even though his natural inclination as a former cop should have been to take the cops' side. At the time Tony owed him nothing. They had only been working together a short time, and nobody would have blamed Tony for leaving him on his own. Yet against all odds, Tony had been there for him. This time, and so many others. 

The truth was that in spite of their differences and antagonisms, Tony had always had his six. And it was now painfully obvious that the reverse wasn’t true.

On this particular day, Gibbs had sent Tim down to Abby's lab to fetch some results from her. The Junior Agent complied reluctantly, dragging his feet. Lately, he dreaded his interactions with the Goth most of all. Her silent anger spoke volumes, and she made her displeasure at his presence known with every piercing glare. 

Once in the lab, Tim found Abby busying herself with some tests.

“Hey...” Tim began cautiously. “Gibbs sends me down for the test results.”

“Oh.” Abby said blankly.

“Well, he'd get them himself, but he –”

“It's fine,” Abby said coldly, turning on her heels and handing him some papers. “I've finished.”

Tim's shoulders slumped. “You hate me, don't you?” 

Abby sighed, turning around to face Tim.

“No. I don't hate you, Tim. I just can't understand why you did what you did. It's just so...unlike you.”

Tim didn't answer directly, instead lowering his eyes with shame.

“Gibbs told me you knew. I mean, that Tony was...”

“Gay.” Abby finished for him, slightly amused by his embarrassment. “Yes. I knew.”

“Is that why you are so close?” Tim couldn't help asking, unable to hide the hint of jealously in his tone. Tony and Abby had always been as thick as thieves and he couldn't deny that he had envied their closeness, even when Abby and he were dating. “I know you're friends with a lot of gay men, so...”

“Kind of,” Abby admitted with a shrug. “When Gibbs introduced him, I felt he was hiding something. That was mostly why I didn't like him at first. He was supposed to have Gibbs' six, so he couldn't afford to keep secrets. Especially from me. Anyway, one night, I literally walk on him in a club, and it somehow cleared the air between us.”

“You saw him with a guy? Like _with_ him,” Tim asked, knowing too well the kind of clubs Abby frequented.

“Oh, yeah....” Abby raised an eyebrow, grinning. “In the Biblical sense.”

“God, I don't want to know...” Tim groaned.

“You should. Trust me, it was pretty hot! I was out to get some fresh air and...”

Tim became as red as a beet and lifted his hands, in a plea to silence Abby.

“Please. No details.”

“Your loss,” Abby shrugged with a small pout. 

They stayed silent for a moment, before Tim finally spoke up again, self-deprecation tainting his voice this time. “Kinda funny how the discovery that cemented your friendship with Tony is the same knowledge I used to take advantage of him and hurt him. Because of me, Tony was almost left for dead. Some partner I am!” Tim folded his arms, eyes fixed on the floor. “I...I'm so sorry I disappointed you.”

Abby shook her head.

“I'm not the one you need to apologize to,” she pointed out.

“How is he?” Tim asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer.

“As well as can be expected,” Abby answered. “He's been breathing on his own since last week, and the doctors think he has good chance of making a full recovery.”

“Well, that's a relief, anyway,” Tim sighed.

“You should visit him,” Abby urged.

“I... I don’t think that's such a good idea. I'm the reason he got hurt in the first place. Remember?”

“You two need to sort things out! You can't keep hiding like this, Tim!”

“I doubt Tony wants to have anything to do with me right now. You may not hate me, but I'm sure he does. Just like everybody else in this building,” Tim said mournfully.

“Tony doesn't hate you,” Abby insisted. “He's hurting. And your silence only makes it worse.” 

“Did Tony tell you that?” Tim asked. The whole point of him staying away was mainly to save Tony from further hurt, but apparently no matter what he did, he still managed to hurt him anyway.

“He didn't have to,” Abby began. “He –”

“Honestly, Abby, I appreciate what you're trying to do. But I think you should leave it be. There is no way Tony will ever forgive me for what I did. I don't think I can forgive myself.” Tim's last words faded into a whisper. His coworkers may have hated him, but he hated himself more.

 Abby let out a heavy sigh, grabbing the edge of the bench top with both hands and shaking her head.

“Oh, Tim. Of all the people who could have hurt him, why did it have to be you?”

“What do you mean?” Tim asked, giving Abby a puzzled look.

Abby took a moment to gather her thoughts, looking Tim up and down.

“I mean that for a top notch investigator, sometimes you really don't have a clue!”

“What are you talking about?” Tim asked, his confusion increasing.

Abby heaved a loud sigh and lifted her eyes and hands to the ceiling, appalled.

“I can't believe you didn't notice!”

“Notice what?” Tim asked, feeling completely lost.

“Tony likes you! Idiot!”

“Yeah? I like him, too, even if I did a terrible job of showing it lately,” Tim shrugged.

“No, McGee! He _likes_ you!” repeated Abby slowly as if she was trying to explain quantum physics to a small child.

Tim's eyes grew wider, and he just stared at Abby for a moment, gaping like a gold fish whilst he tried to fathom out what she was saying. Abby had always had an overactive imagination, but this time, she'd overstepped the mark. He didn't even want to think it out loud. It just seemed so crazy. No, really. It must have been some elaborated joke, because there was no way Tony could...

“He loves you,” Abby blurted out, voicing his own musings as if she could read his mind.

McGee blinked, stunned.

“He...” 

Abby nodded slowly.

“Yes, McGee. I know I shouldn't tell you, and Tony will probably kill me for it, but... Tony is in love you, Tim. Has been for a long time! And that's why the fact that it was you who betrayed him hurts him even more.”

_To be continued_

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to ThePeachyMonkey who co-authors this fic with me. In spite of all the obstacles, you never let me down and I can never be grateful enough for that *hugs*.  
> And also, thank you to Rose Malmaison for creating the art for this fic.

  

Tim just stared at Abby, stunned, disbelieving what he'd just heard. He opened and closed his mouth several times before finally finding his voice again.

“Okay. Stop messing with me. That's not funny. I know I deserve it, but this has to be the sickest joke you have ever come up with.” Tim stared at Abby as if she were nuts to even suggest such a thing. “Come on! Tony, in love with me. That's... that's ... Ridiculous!”

“It's not, Tim. Honest to God! Tony really loves you!” Abby insisted. 

“Right,” Tim snorted sarcastically. “How would you know that anyway?”

“Because he told me,” Abby said quietly. “Not long after you joined the team permanently.”

“That doesn't mean anything. You know how Tony is. He was just messing with you,” Tim insisted stubbornly, unable to wrap his mind around the idea of Tony being in love with him.

“Oh, Tim..."” Abby sighed with dismay.

“I have to go,” Tim cut her off. “Gibbs is waiting for me, and if I don't get back to the bullpen soon, he'll bite my head off for real.” 

With that, he hurried out of Abby's lab before she had a chance to say anything more.

Abby heaved a sigh and shook her head before resuming her work.

 

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

 

Back in the bullpen, Tim handed Abby's negative results to Gibbs and tried to resume his work. But he couldn't concentrate on the paperwork, which was piling up on his desk. Not after what Abby had just told him. Though Abby had no reason to lie, Tim found it hard to believe that Tony could be in love with him. Yes, Tony was gay. But that didn't mean he would be attracted to just any man who might be available. Surely, he had standards. 

Tony was a stud. A playboy. How could he ever be remotely attracted to a man as ordinary and as Tim? He had nothing in common with the guys Tony was dancing with the other night.

And yet, Tim remembered the way Tony supported him after he accidentally shot the undercover cop. And how he spontaneously offered to accompany him to autopsy so he could say his goodbye to Kate.

If he was honest with himself, Tony had never been as bad as Tim liked to pretend. The teasing and pranks were annoying but not mean or deliberately hurtful. And if it hadn't been for Tony pushing his limits and forcing him to fight back, Tim would certainly still be a terrified newbie, puking at the mere sight of a corpse and stammering every time Gibbs asked him something.

Guilt made Tim's gut churn as he recalled the time he told to Tony that he didn't think he deserved his own team after Gibbs returned from Mexico. Not to mention the way they all acted when he was team leader. Knowing that Tony might have had hidden feelings for him all that time made the guilt even worse. Suddenly, Tim felt like he might vomit. No wonder Tony had kept his distance, after the way Tim had treated him. 

Tim's face turned green, and he was about to excuse himself to go to the men's room. But then Gibbs finally allowed them to go back home, and he almost ran out of the building.

 

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

 

Once at home, Tim tried to calm down. But it was to no avail. His thoughts kept whirling mercilessly in his head. He wondered how to, at the very least, fix his friendship with Tony. He didn't have a clue how Tony felt about him now. Did he hate him? Was there a chance that he might forgive him? And if he did, would he still have feelings for him? If so, how was Tim supposed to respond to them?

If, by some miracle, Gibbs didn't throw him off the team first, they would have to work together. How would Tim be able to act normally around Tony, now that he was aware of his feelings, but couldn't reciprocate them? Because he couldn't, could he? 

In spite of Tony's frequent remarks about his supposed repressed homosexuality, Tim had never even once considered the possibility of a relationship with another man. He'd never even been attracted to a man.

Sure, Tim was able to acknowledge a handsome man when he saw one, and there was no denying that Tony was really handsome, not to mention smarter than Tim would have been willing to admit. He also had an undeniable charisma. But he was a man. An impressive specimen, certainly. But a man nonetheless.

_"Snap out of it, Tim! You sound like an enamored schoolgirl!"_ Tim mentally scolded himself, before deciding to go to bed.

Perhaps a good night's sleep would give him the clarity he so needed.

_NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS_

_From his place on the balcony, Tim looked down through the mass of people in the club. His eyes focused on Tony as the older man danced lasciviously, his body following the music, whilst another man wrapped his arms around him from behind, his hands caressing Tony's torso. A third man stepped in front of Tony, kissing him hard on the lips._

_The scene played out very much as it had the first time Tim had been there, when he'd discovered Tony's secret. But this time, instead of feeling surprise or confusion, he was overcome with envy and anger._

_Those men were touching something that wasn't theirs. They shouldn't be allowed to touch Tony. They had no right to. Tim should be the only one whose hands are allowed to touch Tony's skin; to make him moan and shiver. His mouth should be the one on Tony's. Not theirs. Because Tony loves him, not those guys._

_Coming down from the balcony, Tim made his way through the crowded dance floor, reaching the three men. He unceremoniously grabbed the man kissing Tony by the collar and shoved him away before motioning for the other guy to clear off as well. His expression was so determined that neither of the men even considered antagonizing him._

_Tony looked at him with searching eyes, wiping his lips with the back of his hand._

_“Why?” he asked._

_“Because you're mine.” Tim replied matter of factly._

_Then he seized Tony's lips in a searing kiss, wrapping his arms tightly around him. His hands roamed possessively on Tony's back, finding their way under the hem of his shirt._

_They kissed languorously for a moment, Tim reveling in the sensation of Tony's warm skin under his hands. Then he felt Tony's hand on his waist, so close to his crotch. He was aching for the other man to touch him._

_“Touch me,” he whispers under Tony's lips._

_Tony gave him an amused look through his half closed eyelids._

_“Are you sure this is what you want?”_

_“Yes,” Tim breathed out. “Please touch me.”_

Tim awoke with a gasp to find himself sweating and panting in his bed with a raging hard-on. Still half dreaming, he couldn't help wrapping his hand around his shaft and stroking it whilst imagining Tony's hand on him.

Finally, he came, screaming Tony's name, then fell back, out of breath, against the pillows, even more confused than before.

If the night had provided its share of answers, they were definitely not the ones he expected.

_To be continued_


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to ThePeachyMonkey who co-authors this fic with me. I can’t find the words to express my gratitude to you.
> 
> And also, thank you to Rose Malmaison for creating the art for this fic.
> 
> Thank you to our beloved readers. I’m so sorry it took so long to post this new chapter. In a nutshell, we were dogged with bad luck and the chapter was lost not only once, but twice before it could be betaed. Internet is a bitch sometimes. I hope it is worth the wait.

 

Two weeks had passed since Tim's conversation with Abby. In the meantime, Tony had been released from the hospital, and was resting at home, under Ducky's close medical supervision. As far as Tim knew, every member of the team was taking turns helping Tony at home, but nobody ever asked for his help, something Tim understood, even though it hurt to be left out. 

In all honesty, he dreaded seeing Tony again, although he knew he had no other choice if he wanted a chance to sort things out with him. 

Icing on the cake, Tim also had his newly found attraction to Tony to deal with and was feeling increasingly conflicted and confused. He'd never been attracted to another man before. Yet since the moment Abby dropped the bombshell, he couldn't help having thoughts of Tony that could hardly be considered innocent. He felt like he had opened some kind of Pandora's box, and it was scaring him.  

At first, Tim thought his brain was just messing with him; like when you watch a superhero movie and then you dream you can fly. The problem was that the wet dreams hadn’t stopped, as he thought they eventually would. If anything, they became more frequent and disturbing, plaguing most of his nights and making him seriously start to reevaluate his sexuality. At least as far as Tony DiNozzo was concerned.

The worst thing for Tim was not knowing where Tony stood in this equation, and if at least their friendship could be salvaged. He wouldn't blame Tony, though, if he held a grudge against him. He had no clue what was going to happen once Tony was be cleared for work. Was he going to come back to work? If he did, would Tim be thrown off the team and transferred somewhere else? Most likely Antarctica, Alaska or Siberia?

Tim needed to know where he stood and, more importantly, where Tony stood on the whole situation. And this was why he now found himself driving towards Tony's apartment late at night, in hopes that no one else would be there, so he could see Tony alone. That was, of course, if Tony decided to let him in.

Tim took a deep breath and knocked at the door, waiting. Nobody came, so he knocked once again, louder. Still, no response. Just when he finally gave up, and turned to walk away, the door suddenly opened behind him and Tony's voice resounded in the corridor, stopping Tim in his tracks.

 “Sorry. I was taking a nap...” started Tony, panting slightly.

Tim turned around and came face to face with Tony, whose smiling face instantly sobered at the sight of his unexpected visitor. They stared at each other for a brief moment, which gave Tim enough time to look over his teammate.

Tony’s hair was tousled and he was barefoot and shirtless; only wearing a pair of faded jeans. Tony's naked chest was partially covered with bandages and square of gauze was hiding the wound on his neck, where the tracheotomy had been performed. The bruises on his face were fading, but still clearly visible. Tony's expression was undecipherable, and for a second, Tim thought the other man might shut the door in his face.

“McGee,” Tony finally nodded.

“Tony...” Suddenly, Tim didn't know what to say anymore. “Can... Can I come in?”

Avoiding eye contact with Tim, Tony nodded once again and stepped aside to let him in.

They entered the living room and Tony carefully made his way towards the kitchen whilst Tim closed the door behind him before following him.

“Wanna drink something? Tony asked, his head in the fridge. "I'm not yet cleared for alcohol, but I probably still have some beer hidden somewhere.”

“Tony, I'm sorry,” Tim blurted out without preamble.

Tony snorted and rolled his eyes, not bothering to turn around

“Be careful, if Gibbs ever hears you breaking rule number 6, he's gonna kick your ass into next month.”

Tim shook his head, his eyes firmly fixed on the floor.

“I already broke rule number 1, and Gibbs is making my life a living hell. I can hardly see how it could get worse,” he mumbled, shuffling his feet.

“And now rule number 3. Do you have a death wish?”

Tim let out a frustrated huff.

“Tony, please. Can you be serious for a second?”

Tony turned around and closed the door of the fridge, casually leaning against it,

“Okay,” he drawled with a weary sigh.

Tony carefully crossed his arms on his bandaged chest, drawing Tim's attention on his upper half and the young man found himself staring at Tony's slender body, fully noticing for the first time just how hot he was, in spite of the bruises and bandages. He couldn't believe he'd never noticed how attractive his teammate was. Well, he knew Tony was an attractive man, but it was the first time he could feel the famous "DiNozzo Magic" working on him. Tim started to space out, until Tony's voice suddenly pulled him out of his daydreaming.

“McGee! You wanted to talk, so talk.”

Tim shook himself and tried to gather his thoughts the best he could.

“I'm sorry for what happened to you. I...” he began

“It’s okay,” Tony cut him off with a wave of his hand, obviously as uncomfortable as Tim was. “I know you weren't in cahoots with Townsend.” He paused, pondering his next words. “Not the first time it's happened, anyway. I just didn't expect you to have a problem with... me being...”

Realizing Tony was implying he might be homophobic, McGee immediately objected:

“NO! I'm not... I mean, I have no problem with....”

“Then what?” Tony demanded with a tinge of irritation. “I know I can be a pain in the ass sometimes...”

Tim couldn’t help raising a dubious eyebrow.

“Okay, most of the time,” Tony admitted. “But, I can’t see what I could have done to make you hate me so much.”

“I don't hate you,” McGee sighed. “Never did.” He looked away, staring at the opposite wall. “I don't know why I did it,” he finally admitted in a defeated tone. “I guess I just wanted something to get back at you for...you know...all the teasing and all the times you glued my fingers to my keyboard.”

“And blackmailing me into being your personal slave was all you could come up with? You disappointed me, McGee.”

Tim ran his hands across his face.

“I know it sounds childish and stupid, but… I swear, I never thought it would take on such epic proportions. You never seem to care about anything, so I thought it would just… well, dent your pride.”

Tony snorted derisively, favoring Tim with a hard glare.

“Let me make it very clear, McGee. The fact that I didn't broadcast that part of my life, doesn't mean I’m ashamed of it, okay? I have no problem with my sexuality. But others might and I learned a long time ago that discretion is key to self-preservation.”

Tony paused and closed his eyes, before speaking again in a calmer ton.

“Do you know what happens to cops who are outed?”

Tim lowered his eyes and nodded sheepishly, but Tony carried on anyway.

“They are ostracized, at best. Back up suddenly comes late, if it comes at all. This is not a joke, McGee. This is not about 'getting back at me' or 'denting my pride', as you so nicely put it. You can fill my drawer with cow crap any other day or make me look like a perfect idiot as much as you want. I don't give a damn. But, this is a question of life or death.”

“But you're not a cop anymore,” Tim protested weakly.

Tony looked at Tim in disbelief; as if surprised such an idiotic statement could come from his mouth.

“I am a federal agent working for an agency which deals with the military. It's even worse than being a cop.”

Tony paused and rubbed his forehead.

“Why do you think I quit at Peoria and Philly, huh? Why do you think my father felt the need to disown me when I was only 12?”

"I... guess... I never really thought of it...” Tim stammered as the pieces of puzzle started to fall into place to his utter dismay.

 “Of course,” Tony snorted dejectedly, biting back the anger rising in him. “Like most people, you just assumed that I was such a pain in the ass that they simply couldn't put up with me anymore.”

His jaw hardened and he pursed his lips in a bitter rictus. “Well, newsflash: time to leave the Care-Bears’ world, Timmy Tim. My charming con man of father just couldn't stand the mere idea of his only son being a fag. If I recall correctly, his last words just before he threw me out were: 'Get out of here. There’s no place for perverts like you under my roof.' Nice, don't you think? As for my former colleagues, well... let's just say that once they found out I was gay, things quickly went downhill, and the most reasonable option left for me was to quit before I had a non-so unexpected accident. So, excuse me if, after that, I didn't shout it from the rooftops.”

“Then, why did you go to the Neon Club if it was so risky?” Tim inquired.

Tony looked away, anger giving way to sadness in his eyes.

“Because being in the closet is like being undercover. You can't do that 24/7 or you become crazy. You need to let off steam from time to time and have a chance to be yourself, if only for a moment.”

“Gibbs knew,” Tim stated after a few moments of awkward silence.

“Yeah,” Tony nodded. “I told him just after he hired me. He was the first person who ever believed in me. He chose me and fought like hell to get me on his team. I couldn't lie to him.”

Tony’s explanation didn’t surprise Tim that much. In spite of all his flaws, Tony was known to be loyal to a fault to the ones he loved and respected. It was undeniable, and made Tim's betrayal even more painful.

They fell back into silence until Tim spoke again.

“Are you gonna come back to the team?” he finally dared to ask.

Tony shook his head.

“Don't know yet. I still have to be cleared for field duty and... I'm not sure it would be a good idea. Things happened and... I don't know if we can work together the way we used to." He blew out a breath." I’m aware that I have my part of responsibility in all that mess. I shouldn't have push you so hard. It was a mistake. But you seemed to give as good as you got, and I thought it would help toughen you up. But my methods were obviously flawed. I'm sorry that you felt like I didn’t respect you. That wasn’t my intention.”

“Abby told me about... the way you felt about me," Tim blurted out without thinking, unable to keep it for himself anymore.

Tony gaped at him, visibly taken aback, before averting his eyes with embarrassment.

“She shouldn't haven,” he muttered between gritted teeth, not even trying to deny it.

“Don't be mad at her, please,” Tim pleaded. “I swear, she meant well. She... I guess, she was just trying to give me a light and a map to find my way out of my ass."

Tony chuckled in spite of himself and shook his head.

“Interesting choice of words, McGee. Anyway, it was none of her business and completely irrelevant.” Tony ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Anyway, you don’t have to worry about that. I have no intention of jumping you at the first opportunity. And contrary to popular belief, I know how to behave myself.”

“I'm not worried,” Tim calmly stated. “I wouldn't mind... I mean... I wouldn’t be offended, if you... oh, shit.” He swallowed hard and forced himself to look at Tony in the eyes. “What I’m trying to say is that recent events have forced me to reevaluate some things about myself that I took for granted and… to contemplate new possibilities.”

Tony stared at Tim in disbelief.

“Whoa. Give me a minute to get this straight. Some homophobic twat hits me with a pipe and you suddenly decide you should pay a visit to ‘fairyland’? Don't you think you're taking this guilt trip a bit too far?”

“This is not about guilt,” Tim protested vehemently. “It's… It’s... I don't know what this is about exactly. It’s very confusing, and I’m still trying to figure out how I really feel about it. But I can assure you that it has nothing to do with the guilt I feel about what happened to you.”

Tony looked at Tim warily.

“You know homosexuality is not contagious, don't you, McNaïve?”

Tim rolled his eyes with annoyance, but he was inwardly relieved to see Tony use the Mcnicknames again.

“Yeah, thanks. But... What if I want to give it a try?”

Tony let out a joyless chuckle and looked away.

“No need to waste your time. Being uptight doesn't mean that you're gay, trust me.” He started towards the living room, but Tim took a step forwards, determined not to give up so easily.

“Then, why all the teasing about me being gay if you were so convinced I was straight?” he countered.

Tony looked down sheepishly and backed off towards the sink, maintaining as much distance between them as he could.

“Yeah, well... You didn't seem so lucky in the woman department, so I thought maybe, with a little push in the right direction, you might start to consider other options. Nobody bought it anyway, and you never showed any interest, whether it was in me or in men in general, so..."

Tim took another couple of steps towards Tony, effectively pinning him against the sink.

“What if you were wrong?” Tim asked hoarsely, his heart pounding in his chest whilst his eyes searched for Tony’s. “What if Abby is right and this isn’t about men, but about... you?”

Tony swallowed hard, stubbornly avoiding Tim’s gaze whilst his hands clutched the edge of the sink as a lifeline.

“You really are the most confusing man I have ever met, you know that?" Tony muttered under his breath. “One day, you treat me like shit, and the next you put the moves on me. If this is your way of trying to make up for what happened, you can forget it. I don’t need a pity fuck, thanks.”

“I don’t pity you,” Tim protested, desperate to convey the sincerity of his feelings for Tony “As I said, I don't know exactly how to name what I feel for you, but I know it has nothing to do with pity.”

Tony's breath caught in his throat and he tightened his grip on the edge of the sink, fighting the urge to reach out and take what was so willingly offered to him.

Their gazes finally locked, and Tim felt a shiver ran along his spine, as he became literally mesmerized by the sight before him.

They were so close, he could feel heat radiating from Tony's bare chest. He could also see the vein beating along his neck, and the lust shining in his dilated eyes. He found himself especially enthralled by Tony's lips; unable to take his eyes off of them. He couldn't help wondering how it would feel to kiss them.

Tony swallowed hard and finally dropped his gaze, breaking the connection.

“You should go, before something happens that we'll both regret,” he whispered in a ragged breath.

Tim's shoulders slumped, and after a moment of hesitation, he reluctantly took a step backwards.

“Tony...”

“Tim, please.” Tony's tone was almost pleading and Tim couldn't remember having ever seen him so vulnerable. “Go.”

“I'm sorry,” Tim repeated.

Tony merely nodded, his body still painfully tense, and a hurt expression painted all over his face.

Tony waited until he heard the front door close, then he slowly made his way back into the living room. Once there, he sank down onto the couch, dropping his head in defeat.

As silent as a ghost, Gibbs stepped out of the shadows of the corridor leading to the bedroom, wearing his reading glasses. His index marked the pages of the book he had been reading when Tim knocked.

“You could have answered the door, you know,” Tony said in a barely audible voice, without bothering to lift his head.

“And deprive you of that interesting heart-to-heart? No way,” Gibbs teased. “Besides, you know he would have fled like a bat out of hell if he had known I was here.”

“Not sure that would have been such a bad thing,” Tony commented

“You two needed to talk,” Gibbs said seriously, sitting down beside Tony.

“Not exactly the kind of talk I expected,” Tony admitted.

“What are you going to do?”

Tony glared at him.

“Damned if I know.”

“What about you take your chance and see what happens?” Gibbs offered with a raise of his eyebrow.

Tony shook his head.

“It’s not that simple.”

“Looks pretty simple to me. You’re attracted to him, and now he is attracted to you…”

“A lot happened,” Tony cut him off.

“Yeah, but you already forgave him and you know it,” Gibbs stated matter-of-factly. “You couldn't hold a grudge against him, even if you wanted to. Fuck, you've been in love with him for years.”

“Maybe. But that doesn't mean I'm willing to become his fucking experiment,” Tony grumbled bitterly. “What if somebody starts calling him names and he suddenly decides that girls are easier to handle? I'm tired of being hurt, Gibbs.”

Gibbs put a reassuring hand on Tony's shoulder. “I know. But I don't think that's how he sees it. It takes some balls to come here and spill his guts to you like that. McGee is, without question, the most cerebral guy I've ever met. I doubt he would have offered himself to you on a silver platter like that if he hadn't been ready to take it seriously. Maybe you should give him a chance.”

“That's rich, coming from the man who wanted to rip his head off not so long ago. Besides, have you forgotten rule number 12?” Tony reminded Gibbs. “Dating McGee is definitely a bad idea.”

With a shrug, Gibbs sat back on the couch and resumed his reading.

“Yeah. Because not dating him has done you so much good so far.”

_NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS_

 Tim sat in his parked car, his forehead against the steering wheel. _“How could I think that would go any way but badly?”_ he chastised himself, lightly banging his head on the steering wheel a couple of times. 

He sat still for a moment, unable to find the energy to drive back to his apartment. His cell phone suddenly vibrated in his pocket, startling him. Tony's name showed up on the display, and, with nervous fingers, Tim quickly opened his phone to read the message:

_Tuesday. 1900. My place. Bring the pizza, I'll bring the movie._

Tim, slumped back and closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath. And for the first time in weeks, a small smile spread on his lips as a strange mix of excitement, fear and happiness washed over him.

_To be continued_


End file.
